The latest....not necessarily the greatest....

This week was a busy week. This week was an intense week. This week felt very hard and I felt I had to make one of those hard life decisions that you just don't know you are making quite the best decision...this being said, I feel as good as I can with my decision and feel I made the best one for this time in my life and based on the information I do have at this time.

Wednesday I had a full abdominal and pelvic ultrasound. This was done to look at all the organs (pancreas, liver, bladder, gallbladder) as well as to check in on my kidneys....if you read my previous post, you'll understand my excitement when I announce.....I have two kidneys, and two functional kidneys. Pretty thrilling. Yes I am hanging on to every ounce of good news at this point. All looks well from what they can see, although they find my uterus is quite larger than the normal uterus. There I go again needing to be different in one way or another. LOL.

My decision: I have chosen, with the support of my oncologist, to keeping in one ovary until I have more genetic information. I just feel better knowing that if the genetic information comes back stating a mutation, that I can still do something about it, and I would very quickly. But if the genetics came back saying all looks well, no mutation is present, then I would be glad to not have to face menopause until naturally started (hopefully in my late 40's, or early 50's).

So surgery is scheduled: Friday, August 2nd. It's quick but I guess this is a good sign. Genetics is now trying to get me in ASAP but nothing is guaranteed. The surgery will remove cervix, uterus, both fallopian tubes and one ovary. My doctor will decide which ovary looks the healthiest and remove the other. Of course there is a possibility that she does feel the need to remove both and I leave that call to her, being the expert and all. Hopefully I will get in to speak with the menopause specialist next week in case it does happen. The surgery will be quite intense and so will recovery seeing as the incision was decided as a vertical one. The reason I was given is because of the large uterus, they need to get a good look to see what is going on in there and if they do a bikini line incision, it`s hard to get a good look. All for the best. The way I am looking at this is that the scar will represent survival. It may take me a while to completely accept such a huge scar on my stomach but will hopefully reach a point of thinking that way. Because of this surgery, I will have been given the chance to a longer life, more years with my gorgeous husband, to see my beautiful children grow old, my sisters, dad, my friends....Recovery is a good six weeks, with a slow transition back to work. I have to say I am blessed with having such great support at work as well as I will feel some guilt no matter what with being away for so long. But hopefully I will come back stronger, more resilient, more energized.

I`m nervous, I`m excited to get the show on the road. There are still lots of questions going on in my head but that is just my nature. I question everything and the answers, as scary as they can sometimes be, bring me comfort. I feel supported by my team of doctors and they have encouraged my questions and my curiosity. Dealing with specialists is quite different than just dealing with family practitioners (although I have also been blessed with the best family doctor). You really feel that a small team has been formed, with you being a part of it, to reach a common goal.

So for now I have 3 weeks of work left, with a few appointments in there, while trying to keep calm and grounded. I`ll keep you posted on anything new from now until surgery day, and of course touch base once I am back home which will be between 3 and 5 days post surgery. If you know me, 6 weeks of resting will be quite challenging. If you want to come and keep me entertained, touch base. I am sure that at some point, I will be craving some company, some stories, gossip and laughter. Just hope the laughing doesn't hurt my belly too much. I cannot not giggle at least once in a day.

Now to start decreasing my coffee intake to avoid the massive headache I had some withdrawal at the last surgery.

XOXO

“You can't make decisions based on fear and the possibility of what might happen.”
― Michelle Obama