So for the details, here they are, and bare with me.....it starts on the Thursday August 1st where I was not allowed to eat. Well, I was but just clear fluids....for a whole day....no fruit, no grains, not candy!!!! I was not liking this part one bit. But if I have to put things into perspective, at least this meant I didn't need some medical intervention to empty my bowel. Eeek, I'll stick with the fluid thing thank you very much. Friday morning's arrival time at the hospital was 6am so at least I didn't have another half day to sit and starve. My dad, my wonderful dad picked me up and drove me once again to the hospital and stayed with me until once again, I was dressed in my lovely hospital fashion, set up in bed, meds in my belly, and the porter came to escort me to my big 'performance'. Operation Room 9 this time. I did get to see my oncologist and surgeon before getting put to sleep this time which was strangely comforting. Nothing like seeing into the eyes of the person who was about to cut you open and rip some of your parts out. What can I say, I guess I wanted to make sure she had her morning java and a good hearty breakfast in her before beginning. If you read back on the last surgery, it's quite similar: anesthesiologist playing with my hand, heart probes going on my chest, warm blankets, tears, mask and sleep.....(this surgery was scheduled to be about 3 hours and I was put to sleep through IV and mask as well as breathing tube inserted but the breathing tubes was only going down my throat once I was asleep and removed while still asleep). Then there was light....the good kind....NO not the big bright shining light with a gentle yet strong hand reaching out to me, but the overhead light to the recovery room with my nurse asking me about pain levels, who was I and where was I. Apparently I wasn't able to answer because my face was so scrunched up from pain that they were inserting pain meds in many places that would allow for fast absorption (use your imagination there). Once I was down to about a pain level of 5, they were able to instruct me on the push button that would inject me every 6 minutes with morphine. Let me tell you, 6 minutes doesn't normally sound like a long time but there was a period of about 2 hours where those 6 minutes were hard to be patient for. Nothing made me as happy as that little green light flashing indicating to me that I was ready to push for another morphine shot.
To make this not too lengthy, yes the pain was tremendous. Yes I was not in my happy place. Yes the transfer from the stretcher to my room for the next three days was hell on earth (kinda wanted to bite my porter's head off). Yes I hated being connected from a few body parts to machines and tubes. Yes I didn't like the feeling it gave me of being drugged up. Yes the hospital food was Blah (and I did mean to write that with a capital B) but you know what? There were also some great things. My nurses were Fabulous (with a capital F). My sister Camille stayed with me every single minute of those 4 days in the hospital. She tended to me like I have never been tended to. She went above and beyond the call of duty for helping a sister out. The sun was shining. My pillow was non stopped fluffed. I felt the love of close ones. I got a few visits that cheered me up (some expected and some not) but most of all, I made it through. I lost some internal stuff but gained a ton of strength. I did this thing that is tremendously scary, that if I could have, would have run as fast as I could in the opposite direction but I didn't. With my family and friends around me, I faced it and did it. A week and a bit later, I am home, eating, resting, reading, watching probably a tad too much of 'Friends' and smiling a whole lot. All in all, this has been a positive experience. Weird that I can say that but I am.
Next step is to see my oncologist at the end of August to get the pathology results. I am confident, as is she, that everything will be good. She said that everything looked good, so for now, I will go with that and am confident that will be her final words. There may be some weird times ahead with the menopause stuff but so far so good. Nothing to report on so hope that continues. I look forward to my iron levels going up finally, to gaining some energy and from this point on, face each new fear with a straighter back and bigger smile.
Thanks everyone for the support, kind words, flowers, books, DVD's, candy. I could not have done this without all that. I hope that I can somehow repay each and every one of you. How about I try by living each day with a new attitude, new outlook and new energy. I'm gonna be around for a long time so hope that works for ya all.
WHAM! BAM! POW! I did this.
XOXO
