The not so nice stuff....

I'll start by saying that 'I don't have cancer'. I am trying to keep my mind focused on this statement without bringing me back to those stressful few months....but I have to focus on that statement while I face the new stuff, which every woman will have to face at some point: Menopause.

A work colleague and I recently attended an information session to learn all about menopause. This session was given by a registered nurse who works at the Women's Health Centre at the Ottawa Hospital Riverside Campus. She was fantastic, didn't stop talking for more than a second and seemed to know EVERYTHING there is to know about menopause....(picture a shocked and discouraged expression on my face at the end of the session though). My early arrival into this mystery phase of my life was surgically induced and therefore I was told could hit me harder than most (most go through a slow transition of 5 to 7 years, slowly adjusting to the symptoms). How hard can this be I thought to myself. All women go through it. So I'll be hot on occasion and not be able to have babies. Being a 'frozen' person on the best of days, I sang BRING IT ON. In a weird way, I sometimes wished I would have 'hot flashes'. And then my ovaries would stop functioning. News flash! I have none! And the big bonus....NO MORE monthly periods. So really, I thought it couldn't be that bad. I had accepted never having more children. I was looking forward to not being frozen all the time and need I express more happiness about no more periods? Seriously. Bring it on!

And now I eat my words....why is this not talked about more? Why is it the only thing we hear about menopause are the hot flashes? Did my mother try and communicate some of the other symptoms and I chose not to listen? Was I too busy laughing at the sight of her standing on the back deck mid-January in shorts and a tank with a big smile on her face? Is it because of the embarrassment about some of the other side effects of menopause?  Just like mental health, I think menopause needs to be a topic of conversation where women, as well as men become more informed about this epic and very transformative time in women's lives. We need to stand tall and not be shy about opening up about this. Yah! No periods. But now let's move on to the stuff that can literally change a person's life....

I won't go into detail in this post listing all the symptoms (still learning what they all are) but I will say it's not all about hot flashes. I will say that right now I am suffering greatly from one of the other symptoms not talked about. Sleep deprivation! Sounds simple? It's not. At the information session I attended, she made a comment that made me look at my colleague and say: I'm fucked! The Nurse said, and I quote: "It's a good thing that by the time 'most' women go through menopause, their children may be young adults and have most likely moved out of the house, and they may be approaching the end of their working careers or have already retired...". Great. I have some 20+ years of working outside of the home to go, have 2 young kids, both who are in hockey (all you hockey parents, or other activity, know how much time and energy is required to keeping that up) and have to stay healthy and sane through all of it, keep the house clean, children fed, homework done while learning to cope with this new 'glorious' time. It is making me miss the sleepless nights of breastfeeding an infant. At least then I was at home for a year, could lay down during the day and rest and did not have to maintain 'files' at work and be coherent. At least then during those exhausting wee-hours, while baby is latches to me, I could look down and be in awe of the miracle that was causing me to be OK with going about my day unshowered, dressed in leggings and not making sense when addressed (don't think that last sentence even makes any sense but I am sleep deprived people!).

The perk of having gone through the surgically induced menopause is that I have the privilege of being followed by a menopause specialist at the hospital. This is a perk that only certain women get to have, although it would come in handy for most. I am currently on an estrogen gel which I apply to the skin each and every day and will continue to do so until the age of close to 60. This should offer protection to my heart (heart disease being another side effect of menopause) as well as my bones (osteoporosis, yup also on the list). It is made to also help with what they call the 'quality of life' symptoms such as hot flashes, mood swings or depression, the sleeplessness and some of the negative sexual side effects (don't worry, I won't go into this one here - felt you all cringe). Currently we are trying to find the right dose of estrogen to help with the hot flashes and sleep. With one increase in dosage so far, I have seen a slight improvement with the hot flashes (not getting them every 20 minutes of so) but nothing yet on the sleep side of things. So for the next little while until we find a way to fix the lack of sleep, bare with me please. I may gaze off while you are speaking to me, ask you to repeat a few times, yawn at every few sentences (it's not out of boredom I promise). I will get there. I am trying different coping mechanisms. I am still the same Adèle. I just happen to be going through something that is a tad bit hard while maintaining my good rep at work which I worked so hard to earn, keeping my kids organized, fed and healthy and being happy. Honestly, right now success is arriving at work fully clothed, in shoes instead of slippers and perhaps looking a tad bit decent. Once again, thanks for listening. May you all have empty nests and be close to retirement when this happens to you. And men/women, please be patient and understanding of your spouses/partners during this delicate period. They will get through it with your support, understanding and love.

P.S. I highly recommend to all women and their spouses to attend this FREE information session given by the nurse specialist at the Riverside campus. It will open your eyes, perhaps depress you a tad bit, but at least will make you aware that what you are going through, or will go through, is normal, that you are not alone and that their are solutions to help.
http://www.ottawahospital.on.ca/wps/wcm/connect/0cd488804b25b21a8f65df1faf30e8c1/MIS+2013-14-e.pdf?MOD=AJPERES