Now for some fun stuff...

Now that all the serious and scary stuff is over with (for now anyway....life keeps it coming eventually right?), time for something fun. Something I've been wanting to do for a while now. Something I have primarily been waiting on due to health stuff and some low iron issues that should be better in the coming months.....TATTOO PLANNING!!! Yah. Thought I had outgrown that desire with my approaching forties did ya. Never! I love skin art. I love it on others. I love it on me. I love hearing about the stories behind pieces chosen. I love it even when it doesn't have a fancy story to tell and that the answer to the why is simply "because I wanted it" or "it's pretty". Why not. Why shouldn't you get something that you simply find pretty and no deep rooted sentimental story or reason for it. Life is so damn short and we should enjoy it. Enjoy it for ourselves and not worry so much about what those around us might think. Don't worry about it so much. If it makes you happy, do it.  Life does come with some responsibilities and everyone should fulfill those to some degree. But a tattoo on my body, now how could that possibly harm anyone. I don't know if I will get to live to see my 39th birthday. I may see my 99th. Who knows. But one thing I do know is I will live this life of mine happy. I want to be happy. I will do what I can to be as happy as I can in this life. Yes there are times where I will be sad. There will also be times for stress, worry, anger and grief, but I will be happy where and when I can make it happen for myself.

A tattoo making me happy. Superficial maybe? Perhaps. But simple. Simple happiness. I like that. I like simple. That makes me happy.

Here are a few pictures in case you are curious as to what this next tattoo might look like....(oh I am so excited).

Placement of the tattoo....in this picture, the image is nothing like what I will be getting but the placement of this next tattoo is precisely where I want it done. Yah!

Image idea....I want to have sunflowers done. This will be a dedication to my mother. Here is a picture I found that I love and want my tattoo to resemble the style. I like that the stems and leaves are black and white and the flower is the only color. It will balance out the other black and white half sleeve that I have on the other arm. Somewhere in there will be written 'Je t'aimais, je t'aime, j'aimerai', and '1950-2008' again for my mother. Also in it will be 3 mini butterfly shadows in black (for the 3 babies I lost) and 1 monarch butterfly (for my beautiful grand-maman Jeannette).

Also being planned is a smaller one on each wrist. My left wrist will have 'Simon' written out in a grey shadow ink with Julian in colors sort of overlaying the 'Simon'. Simon is my dad's name (as well as my son's middle name) and will be written out in my dad's exact handwriting and 'Julian', my son's name' will be written in his handwriting as well. The right wrist will be the same idea except for 'Ginette' in the grey, my mom's name (and daughter's middle name), with 'Sophie' in color, my daughter's name.

Anyway, it's still in the planning phases and I still need my iron levels to raise but I am confident that by Christmas, I should be able to begin this masterpiece that will be mine and mine alone. Of course you can stare at it all you want. I will be wearing it proudly. It's funny. I remember when my mom first discovered that I had gotten a tattoo (and then two and three and etc.) she couldn't help but feel sad that I had marked the body that she had created. But once she saw them, and knew that I was still me and unchanged, she liked them. She said that as much as she had resisted accepting them, she liked them on me and just knew that they belonged. She was quite an awesome lady in more ways than one!

Je t'aimais, je t'aime, je t'aimerai!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=85lKsSCZm4k

Next stop? My healthy future!

Most of you already know but on August 29th, at approximately 11:15am, I got the news from my oncologist that I.AM.CANCER.FREE!!!! I have to say there's a lot of news in life that is good such as the birth of a baby, a good grade in school, an old friend coming to visit, but nothing will top off hearing those words from your doc. Nothing. It took me a few days to come down from the high of that news to be able to sleep through the night. Phew. I can breath again.....

Pathology showed a few cysts on the ovaries and one on the right fallopian tube which were benign and the cancer only on the cervix. Now that it has all been removed I am all good. No treatments as previously told and just regular follow ups in the years to come. YAH!

Recovery from surgery has generally gone great. I have had some harder days but mostly good. I am being quite disciplined when it comes to the cleaning of stuff and keeping myself 'busy' with some watching of 'Friends' (almost done nine seasons in less than 5 weeks), some knitting (approx. 10 hats, 4 scarves, half a sweater and starting on some mitts), reading (on my 4th book) and a tad bit of whining to the hubby that I am bored and will you drive me Shoppers Drug Mart to browse or to Starbucks for a yummy coffee. I've had some visits from family and friends, some phone calls, a three day vacay at the family cottage, a psychic medium party at my BFF's and powerful and emotional day of raising awareness for ovarian cancer with some pretty fabulous ladies. I am quite pleased to announce that this year, with all of your support, my team of 'Dances in the Rain' has raised $3,625 for Ovarian Cancer Canada. Those funds will go to help women diagnosed with ovarian cancer, to educate everyone about this disease as well as research to help find a early detection test. This was my 6th year walking and I get more inspired to keep helping with each and every year. Thank you for all the support I've gotten. Means the world to me and my family.

I'm now down to one more week off from work. I am both excited and nervous to return. I am feeling ready and yet not. It will be a slow transition into full time hours as sitting for long periods of time are still challenging as well as the stamina to last a full day without resting. As the doctors predicted also, I have now started getting 'shocked' in my belly as the nerves reconnect. I can only describe it as and electrical heat storm in my belly or like there is someone hiding inside and every so often taking a tazer to where my uterus used to be. A simpler description would be - NOT FUN! But the nerves reconnecting is a good sign that things are progressing and hopefully the muscles will e strong and connected soon to help support me in an upright position or a sitting position.

Well it's been the adventure. Thanks for coming along. It was stressful and scary at times but there were also many beautiful and inspiring moments. I can't go back so the way I see it, is I wouldn't change a thing of how it was done. I have survived. It will help me see future challenges in a new light and with the knowledge that it can be done.

I can't WAIT to see what the future brings.

XOXO